Pet Peeve of the Week

This is something that has been getting under my skin since I can remember. As an American my native language in English, that is every American's native language and by it being that it should be the language spoken the most here in America...especially in Iowa. That, though, is not the case. More and more I am hearing that fucking ugly language that makes me want to vomit every time I hear it...yes I'm talking about Spanish. I have grown almost intolerant of hearing the language. Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against Spanish people, but I know those fuckers are talking about me. I've got 5 years of Spanish under my belt, but that does not, by any means, mean I can keep up with those auctioneers. I have no problem with hearing any other language...French, of course I'm fine with it, it's the language of romance; German is even fine, with all their einz schweinz and all of that, it sounds like gibbrish, it's funny. But Spanish is just God awful to listen to. You can take the most educated well spoken Spanish man, but once he opens his mouth and starts sputtering out all that crap he can sound just as dumb as any idiot. I'm sorry if this offends, but if I hear one more fat Spanish dude yell at his kids in the fuckin grocery store one more time I may stick a 1/2 inch drill bit through my temple. (By the way I just saw a lady trip over her own feet and it was fuckin hilarious, I had to throw it in here)

These are a few of my favorite things...

Stupid shit that people do that I find mildly - extraordinarily funny:
1. People that pick their nose when they think no one is looking.
2. People that fall down and get mad at the elevation change in the floor
3. Drunk guys who think they're philosophers
4. Drunk girls
5. People who wear Winnie the Pooh shirts
6. White kids that think they have something in common with Bob Marley just because they smoke pot
7. White kids who dress more gangster than 50 cent
8. Shaq thinking that people actually want to listen to him talk
9. Guys that shave their entire body
10. Fat girls who think they're sexy
11. When there are two people in the elevator and one farts and tries to blame it on the other person
12. Girls that fart
13. Old people that try to relate to their kids so they go out and buy rap CD's when all they've ever known is Simon and Garfunkle
14. Older women who sleep with younger men because it makes them feel young again
15. People that are still excited about the Sydney Olympics
16. Hockey fans/Puck bunnies
17. People who collect porn
18. Girls that are very self conscious being ridiculed for the way the dress
19. Girls that think they're hard asses
20. Guys that are whipped and tuck their dick between their legs whenever their girlfriend is around
21. When somebody thinks they know more about college basketball than I do
22. When 75 year old women go back to college to get a degree even though they are going to die the day they graduate
23. Guys that think having gigantic muscles is cool, even though their cocks are hibernating
24. Virgins
25. And last but not least, Indians who think they're smart because they know the alcohol content of every cheap beer in the world!